Our Favorite Write-Ins from the 2025 Best of Rhode Island Readers’ Poll
We're back for a fourth year with more Matunuck spellings, unhinged entries and redactions.
We’re so close, folks! The 2025 Best of Rhode Island winners have been notified and the party is just three weeks away (Thursday, July 24, at the WaterFire Arts Center to be exact — don’t forget to secure tickets here). But if you’re feeling impatient for the results, we’ve got a little something to tide you over in the meantime.
For those who aren’t familiar with or who need a refresher on the setup, the Best of Rhode Island Readers’ Poll ballot is made up entirely of write-in entries. Meaning you can type whatever your little heart desires for Best Restaurant, Best Flower Shop, Best Podcast and so on and so forth. That also means it’s basically the Wild, Wild West on the backend for those of us who have the pleasure (read: chore) of wrangling the thousands of votes to ensure they count towards the intended person, place or thing. While it’s quite the slog to get through, it’s also pretty entertaining along the way (see past years’ examples here, here and here). Below you will find some of the most, er, let’s say notable entries, along with the commentary that ran through my (very, very tired) mind as I tallied.
Also, before we get into it, a quick disclaimer: The comments are largely in jest. I’m not coming for any of your typing or spelling skills (except for maybe the person who spelled Dunkin’ as Duncan), nor your local knowledge, when I myself make plenty of writing mistakes on the daily. In fact, there very well could be plenty in this very post!
Now, without further ado, let’s take a look at:
THE MISTAKEN IDENTITIES
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE RESTAURANT
“Bristol Santa House”
— …Is this a Hansel and Gretel situation?
“Buns and Bites”
— I’m fairly certain Laura doesn’t want you to literally take a bite.
“Comedy Bus”
— I think you’re more likely to get a bellyful of laughs! (And this is why I will not be invited as a comedian on the bus.)
“SAY YES TO THE COCKTAIN”
— Wrong category, caps lock and a typo? This may be the Holy Grail of entries.
“Sharum Photography”
— The camera does usually eat first nowadays.
“Blue Collar Barber”
Calm down there, Sweeney Todd.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE NEW RESTAURANT
“Sophia’s Tuscan”
— As the reigning champ of the statewide best restaurant category for multiple years in a row, it’s pretty safe to Sophia’s isn’t new. They can’t win everything!
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE LATIN RESTAURANT
“The Wings and Juice Spot”
— Maybe I shouldn’t assume, but I’d say Jalapeno popper apps does not a Latin menu make.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE ASIAN RESTAURANT
“Art By You at Weird Girl Creations”
— Unless the pottery comes with a pair of chopsticks and noodles, we’re gonna give this one a no, dawg. (But also someone should totally get on that business plan.)
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE CHEAP EATS
“Eats”
— They’re in Seekonk, babe.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE WINERY
“Pivotal Brewery”
— Picked the wrong poison there.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE NEWS ANCHORWOMAN
“One Socket Cat Sanctuary”
— Another double error gem. Also, petition to let the Woonsocket sanctuary cats deliver the news for a day.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE HOTEL
“Hotel for Homeless Dogs”
— This is so not what we had in mind for this category, but you know what, I’m in favor.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE CANNABIS DISPENSARY
“RI Statehouse”
— Yeah, I’m not touching that one.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE WEDDING BOUTIQUE
“Emily’s Blanket Drive”
— A blanket dress would be pretty comfy.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE WEDDING FLORIST
“Narragansett High School”
— Huh, things sure have changed since I graduated. Go Mariners!
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE RESTAURANT
“Providence Animal Shelter”
— Guys, I’m getting worried.
“Coast Guard House in Narragansett,” “Tavern By the Sea in Wickford” and “Portside at 22 Bowen’s in Newport”
— Shout out to the people who double down in the region-specific categories and make sure to list towns that are very much outside of said region.
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE BURGER JOINT
“Chomp in Warren”
— Poor Providence Chomp. We see and appreciate you.
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE PIZZA PLACE
“CHOP” [Cumberland House of Pizza]
— But, like, do you see how it’s not called PHOP.
THE TYPOS and MISPELLINGS
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE RESTAURANT
“Boob Street Market”
— Listen, I know the Warwick Hooters closed, but…
*Translation: Boon Street Market
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE INDIAN RESTAURANT
“Indian Cruisine”*
— I kinda need this to happen.
*Translation: Maybe India?
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE BAGEL SHOP
“Eees a bagel!”*
— Did anyone else read this in Mario’s voice?
*Translation: Ess-a-Bagel
“Café Tempooh”*
— And now I’m hearing Winnie the Pooh. Oh bother, the tallying is getting to me.
*Translation: Cafe Tempo Coffee House
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE CHEAP EATS
“Oooogie’s”*
— Even Casper can’t get enough of their tots.
*Translation: Ogie’s Trailer Park
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE DOUGHNUTS
“Need”*
— Same.
*Translation: Knead Doughnuts
“Those guys”*
— Somehow this feels even more Rhode Island than the real business name.
*Translation: RI Guys Donuts
“Duncan”*
— We have a Dunkin’ on every corner. I’m convinced this was deliberate.
*Translation: You really don’t need one.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE DESSERTS
“Wright’s Diary”
— ‘Today was a rough one. I’ve already devoured an entire gallon of mint chocolate chip.…’
*Translation: Wright’s Dairy Farm
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE OUTDOOR RESTAURANT
“Like Taco”*
— Me also like taco.
*Translation: Lake Taco
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE COCKTAIL BAR
“Cries Nest”*
They do say bartenders are like therapists.
*Translation: The Crow’s Nest
“Sippin’ Petty”*
— We said cocktails not ~tea.~
*Translation: Sippin’ Pretty Mobile Bar
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE WINERY
“Good Neck Vineyards” and “Gooseberry Vineyards” and “Goop Vineyards”*
— Did y’all hit the bottle already?
*Translation: Gooseneck Vineyards*
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE BURGER JOINT
“Riddle Me This”*
— The pun is the whole point.
*Translation: Griddle Me This
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE IRISH BAR
“Licky’s”*
— Twelve-year-old me says lol.
Translation: Lucky’s Irish Pub*
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE CLAM SHACK
“Blunts in Warren”*
— This will never get old.
*Translation: Blount Clam Shack
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE OYSTER BAR
“MaHtunuack,” “Martunik,” “Mattunuck,” Matunack,” Matunauck,” Matunek,” Matunok,” Mantunuk,” Matunck,” “Matunek Ouster,” “Matonik Oyster Car,” and “Matunuck Oyster Bat.”
— If I had a dollar for every misspelling of Matunuck over the years, I could rebuild the dang building myself.
*Translation: Matunuck Oyster Bar
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE MORNING ANCHORWOMAN
“Alison Baloney”*
Well, this is a new one.
*Translation: Alison Bologna
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE NEWS ANCHORMAN
“Jaeghing,” “Jaehning,” “Jaejnig,” “Jeaghnig,” “Janek,” “Jaehneinh,” “Janikk,” “Jarhnig,” and “Janagi.”*
“Valasenti,” “Vancenti,” “Vellacenti,” “Valcenti,” “Valicebti,” “Velicentini,” “Vicente,” “Valecenties,” “Jean Vallacente,” and “Gen V.”*
— Y’all have ensured I will never forget how to spell either of these men’s names.
*Translation: Dan Jaehnig and Gene Valicenti
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE BOOKSTORE
“Likely Story”*
— Incorrect in both name and in place.
*Translation: An Unlikely Story in Plainville, MA.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE FARMERS MARKET
“Mr. Hope”*
— I’m just picturing a sweet old man with a stand outside his home. So wholesome. Mr. Hope for president.
*Translation: Mt. Hope Farmers Market
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE RHODY MAKER
“Cosy Cabin”*
— The British are coming.
*Translation: Cozy Cabin
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE INFLUENCER
“Isn’t Brownhill”
— This could actually be a jab? If so, sorry Ian.
*Translation: Ian Brownhill
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE ARTS/CRAFTS FESTIVAL
“Sick Ford Festival”
— Sounds like a great time.
*Translation: Wickford Arts Festival
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE DATE NIGHT ACTIVITY
“Say yea to the cocktail”
— I love how this person managed to take all of the enthusiasm out of the business name. What a fun date.
Translation: Say Yes to the Cocktail!
FOUND UNDER SOUTH COUNTY ASIAN RESTAURANT
“Jay’s Buns”*
— The twelve-year-old in me stuck around.
*Translation: Jayd Bun
FOUND UNDER SOUTH COUNTY DINER
“Middle of Know Where”
Completely flips the original name’s intention.
*Translation: Middle of Nowhere Diner
“Galliele of Galliele”*
— But what happened to George?
*Translation: George’s of Galilee
FOUND UNDER SOUTH COUNTY ICE CREAM
“Underlying Delights”
— A great alternative.
*Translation: Udder Delights
THE EYE ROLLS
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE BAGELS
“Panera,” “Dunkin'” and “Honey Dew”
— I’m begging you to expand your palates.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE NEW RESTAURANT
“McDonalds”
— Please don’t tell me we’ve actually added more.
FOUND UNDER SOUTH COUNTY SANDWICH SHOP
“Jersey Mike’s (nothing in south county compares to a NY-style sandwich of any kind)”
— Something tells me you’ve tried exactly one sandwich shop in South County.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE CHEAP EATS
“Wendy’s,” “Chipotle,” “Chick Fil-A,” “Cracker Barrel,” “Burger King,” and “McDonald’s.”
— Get. Out.
THE BITTER
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE RESTAURANT
“Steve sucks”
— Geez, Steve, what’d ya do?
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE NEWS ANCHORMAN
“Anyone but [redacted]”
— Every. Year.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE [REDACTED]
“They’re all kind of awful.”
Oof.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE PODCAST
“If I can vote AGAINST one, it’s [redacted]”
— Honestly, not one I would have expected such a strong reaction to.
THE GROSS
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE FEMALE TV METEOROLOGIST
“The [redacted] hottie on channel [redacted] with the nice [redacted]”
— This is where I lose faith in humanity.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE BAR TO PEOPLE WATCH
“[redacted] and [redacted] at [redacted]”
We’re asking for a bar, not the people themselves, creep.
THE LAZY
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE RESTAURANT
“Brick”
— Alley? Pizza? Exchange? Company?
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE LATIN RESTAURANT
“East Providence”
— You could have at least given a street name.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE LATIN RESTAURANT
“Indian Restaurant in Lincoln”
— This is why we have Google.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE BRUNCH
“Brunch.”
— Brilliant. Amazing. Groundbreaking.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE CHEAP EATS
“Food Trucks”
— Sigh.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE DESSERTS
“Chocolate Cake.”
— Ah yes, the rare delicacy that can only possibly be found exclusively at one spot in the state.
“Nearby baker”
— Maybe someone actually was trying to Google here.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE OUTDOOR DINING
“Don’t have any”
— My dude, my man, my guy, we live in the Ocean State. Maybe get out of the house once in a while.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE BURGER JOINT
“Five Guys but too expensive.”
— So support local, Brad!
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE FEMALE TV METEOROLOGIST
“Nicole new last name”
— The context did help narrow it down so I’m not even mad at this one.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE FOOD INFLUENCER
“My wife”
— We love a supportive partner! But I bet you could have won even more marital points if you had given us her name.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE EVENT
“The one at Washington park, between jazz and folk fest.”
— Asking ChatGPT probably would have been faster.
“Porchfest”
— But which oneeeee Donnnaaaaaaa.
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE OUTDOOR DINING
“Any restaurant during the summer”
— Any? Any?!
“I DON’T KNOW!!!”
— I DON’T KNOW WHY WE’RE YELLING.
FOUND UNDER EVERY CATEGORY
“I don’t know” or “n/a”
— Actually, I guess it would have been lazier to leave it blank. Carry on.
The “I’ll Never Let Go, Jack”s
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE BAGELS
“Rebelle”
— Two years, too late, my friend.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE MUSIC FESTIVAL
“Bring back bold point park”
— Not a festival, but agreed.
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE ITALIAN RESTAURANT
“Guidos (RIP)”
— And RIP to “Jersey Shore” culture. A simpler time.
THE CURVEBALLS
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE COCKTAIL BAR
“Wally’s Wieners”
— I know Wally’s serves drinks, but the category and business name combo still made me chuckle. Maybe I’m actually nine, not twelve.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE RESTAURANT
“Everybody’s favorite restaurant”
— I was about to break out the snark, but turns out this place is real! Kudos, you must have some awesome Google rankings.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE IRISH BAR
“Kebler Leprechaun Saloon”
— I have never been more disappointed in my life to find out this is not real.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE CATERING
“Rock This Think”
— ???
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE MOBILE DRINK VENDOR
“SNIDJDNSJDJDJDNND”
— Surprisingly, I believe this may just be the first key smash I’ve encountered thus far.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE FOOD PRODUCT
“Priorities”
— In the words of Ronald Weasley, you need to sort those out.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE PODCAST
“Please delete this”
— A very real Providence-based podcast that trips me up every time.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE LOCAL TOUR
“Billy Gilman”
— Think we can convince him to ditch music and show us around Federal Hill?
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE CANNABIS DISPENSARY
“Dog Poop R Us”
— This is unhinged.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION
“ELON MUSK IS A GREAT AMERICAN HERO”
— … Refer to above comment.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE WEDDING TRANSPORTATION
“RIPTA”
— Weddings are expensive, you gotta save somewhere.
“Newport Craft Brewery Beer Bus”
— I have found no evidence that this exists and am once again left disappointed.
FOUND UNDER SOUTH COUNTY PIZZA
“Rhode Island Pizza Bus”
Why do you all tease me so.
THE CONVERSATIONAL
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE BREWERY
“I don’t drink beer.”
— Cheers — not all of us can have healthy coping skills.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE BAR TO PEOPLE WATCH
“Miller’s on the weekend”
— But the rest of the week? Total snooze fest.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE GLUTEN-FREE MENU
“Don’t need”
— Congrats on the working gut.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE SPA
“Don’t go to spa.”
— It might help?
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE BARBER SHOP
“I entered a name by mistake, disregard please”
— Lucky for you, I have no way to regard here.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE RHODY MAKER
“WTH does this mean”
— Hah fair.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE WOMEN’S BOUTIQUE
“I don’t know, I’m not a woman”
— Okay and I’m not a burger, but I still got opinions on them.
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE NEW RESTAURANT
“Big Feeling (ice cream is great for dinner)”
— Correct. No notes.
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE VEGAN/VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT
“I don’t go to restaurants that don’t serve meat.”
– Wow, so brave.
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE LOCAL MARKET
“Dave’s which should move into Providence”
— Cosigned.
THE RIM LOVE
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE NEWSPAPER
“RI Monthly”
— Too bad we’re a magazine, otherwise I think we might have had a real shot!
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE FOOD INFLUENCER
“Jamie Coelho”
— I know her!
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE EVENT
“Best of RI”
— Hell yeah brother. Take their word for it and get your tickets before it’s too late.
