Worlds Fastest Wieners Put On A Show In First Ever Wienie 500

The Indianapolis 500 may be the main event, but on Carb Day — the Friday before the green flag flies for the Greatest Spectacle in Racing — all the focus was on the first ever Wienie 500.

And if you like low speeds, maneuverability on par with a hobo's shopping cart, and hot dog puns, well then you had yourself a pretty cool day.

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In fact, after the fast cars (speed? Who needs it!) were done practicing on Friday, for the first time, six Wienermobiles were all in one place, which happened to be on the starting grid just behind the Yard of Bricks.

And the crowd, understandably, was electrified to be at Indianapolis Motor Speedway to witness history as six giant wieners named after regional hot dogs — New York Dog, Chi Dog, Slaw Dog, Sonoran Dog, Chili Dog, and Seattle Dog — barreled into turn 1 for a two lap race around the 2.5 mile circuit.

The green flag flew, and history was made.

It was a slow get away for part of the field, but don't let that lull you into thinking that there wouldn't be any on-track action.

In fact, I think this race had more overtaking than we're going to see this weekend in Monaco.

There was some drama on the backstretch as one of the competitors appeared to suffer a mechanical issue that resulted in smoke billowing out the side of its wiener (if that happens to you, consult a physician).

Then, after all of the intense racing, the battle for the win of the first-ever Wienie 500 came down to the wire.

Slaw Dog is your inaugural Wienie 500, and that's something you can never take away from it and its crew.

For the rest of their lives, they will be able to win any of those stupid corporate icebreaker games that we all hate, where you have to tell two truths and a lie about yourself.

"Actually, no, that's true; I did drive a giant hot dog around Indianapolis Motor Speedway and won the race. The lie is that I've been to Spain… I've never been there… to Spain, I mean…"

What a moment. What an event. 

I had the race on in my office and enjoyed every heart-pounding second (that may be because of cholesterol though), but I'll admit, it was kind of surreal to tell my fiancée, "If you want me to walk the dog with you, it has to be now because the Wienermobile race is starting in a couple of minutes, and I have to watch it for work."

Isn't that what every woman grows up hoping to hear from her future husband?