The Drama Queen Leader: Theatricality and Inappropriate Behaviour

By Adrian Furnham

Friendly, dramatic, and attention-seeking, they are difficult to miss. You may find them entertaining in social settings, but what happens when you have to work with them? In this article, Adrian Furnham explains how to understand and deal with people with Histrionic Personality Disorder.

We have all had dealings with the Drama Queen Manager: flirtatious, mercurial, show-offs. In psychiatric terminology, they often have clinical or subclinical Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), sometimes referred to as Dramatic Personality Disorder.

The HPD term is derived from the Latin word for actor, but the original term was hysterical from the Latin root meaning uterus. This disorder is found more frequently in women. These people are attracted to “limelight” jobs and strive for attention and praise, but setbacks can easily lead to serious inner doubts and depression. Histrionics are certainly emotionally literate: they are open with all their emotions. But these emotions can change very quickly and unexpectedly.

People with HPD tend to be self-centred and have little room for self-doubt.

Most of us have encountered these characters at school, university or work. They tend to have a pattern of excessive attention-seeking and exaggerated emotional displays. Most have an intense desire for approval which can cause many problems. They often seem “over-the-top”, “theatrical”, and “emotional time-bombs” at inappropriate times and places, such as at work. Their flirtatious behaviour causes them multiple problems in the world of work today.

People with HPD tend to be self-centred and have little room for self-doubt. Of course, if mixed with good looks, articulateness and a handful of qualifications, this can seem very advantageous. Think of the conference talk, the media appearance, and the Tik-Tok clip. The ability to exhibit and touch the emotions of others can be a serious advantage. As all orators know, the message travels from the heart to the head, not the other way around.

But their sense of self-worth hinges on how others view them: even the slightest social rejection or criticism can feel incredibly devastating. Many feel  “close to people”, only to later discover those feelings are unrequited. Colleagues learn regularly to question the authenticity of their words and actions. Are they being sincere or exaggerating?

Flirtatious, mercurial, show-offs

Drama Queens seem uncomfortable in social situations where they are not the centre of attention. They delight in making a drama out of a crisis. Their interaction with others is often characterised by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behaviour. Needless to say, this causes more of a reaction in women than men, though this may be changing.

They display rapidly shifting and shallow expressions of emotions. They are, as a result, difficult to read. Most use physical appearance (clothes, hair) to draw attention to self, and this may include body piercing or tattooing. They certainly get a reputation in the office for their “unique apparel”.

Histrionics do not make good managers. They get impatient with and anxious about, details and routine administrative functions.

Many have a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail. Always they show self-dramatisation, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion… usually negative.  Even the dullest topic is imbued with drama. They are easily influenced by others or circumstances and therefore, are both unpredictable and persuadable. Many Drama Queens consider relationships to be more intimate than they actually are. Being rather dramatic, they feel humdrum working relationships more intensely than others.

Histrionics do not make good managers. They get impatient with and anxious about, details and routine administrative functions. They prefer gossip to analysis; and tend not to be good at any sort of detail. They are highly sociable and have intense relationships. They live to win friends and influence people and can do so by being very generous with compliments, flattery and appreciation. They hate being bored: life with them is never staid and dull. Most don’t like being alone for any period.

Interestingly, the definition of themselves comes from the outside: they see themselves as others say they see them. They therefore lack a consistent sense of who they are. They need constant reassurance and positive feedback from others. And because their heart rules their head they can be impulsive, impetuous and impatient. They live not in the real world, but in a storybook world.

At work, they can be persuasive and insightful. They enjoy the world of advertising, PR, sales and marketing, but need a strong back-up for things like plans, budgets and details. They are often volatile and known for being moody. They can be effusive with both praise and blame. But everything is an emotional drama and emotionally, they can be both childlike and childish. They don’t do stable relationships. At work, they need to be the star, the centre of attention otherwise they can feel powerless or desperately unworthy. They are not introspective. And it is important not to overreact to their overreactions.

Different descriptions

1. Muller (2014) argued that histrionic managers can cause “considerable suffering in the workplace, as well as lost productivity and revenue” (p. 402). Histrionic managers operate primarily based on emotion. Reason takes a backseat. They often tend to: “not see to the heart of things”; exaggerate information; overreact to matters that could be handled more easily by rational discussion; have flawed understandings; have trigger points that set them off “sometimes angrily and aggressively”; have “hyper suspiciousness”; be a source of stress, frustration, anxiety for others.

2. De Haan and Kasozi (2014) have talked about the healthy and unhealthy sides of the histrionic They call the former the Accomplished Thespian and the latter the Prima Donna. They provide a short sketch of a typical person who is the latter:

“The Accomplished Thespian becomes the Performing Prima Donna when his focus is more on the performers than on the reason for the performance. Instead of paying attention to doing what is needed, instead of listening to his counterparts, his energy goes into holding his own performance and ensuring that he is looking good in it. In that sense the performance becomes the purpose and the reward, and the wider function or organizational requirement is increasingly missed. The Accomplished Thespian’s tough resolve tips over into being unhelpful when his performances no longer elicit the longer-term outcomes and achievements that the organization seeks. Experiencing the challenge and criticism of others, he becomes less connected with their needs and becomes more concerned with showing that he is delivering or at least doing his best. Paradoxically his attention to performance per se and ignorance of wider circumstances can create a situation where he’s seen as irascible and self-absorbed. He is then experienced as being closed off to reality and not open to constructive feedback. At his most challenged, the Performing Prima Donna is experienced as a self-obsessed and unpredictable loose cannon, a superficial talking shop, and an organizational liability. Those who work with him try to avoid his worst excesses of showing off, and to protect others from his most embarrassing outbursts.” (p 190-191) 

3. Hogan and Hogan (2009) call these types Colourful: people who seem persuaded that others will find them interesting, engaging and worth paying attention to. They are good at calling attention to themselves – they know how to make dramatic entrances and exits, they carry themselves with flair and self-consciously pay attention to their clothes and the way others react to th

Histrionics are marked by their stage presence or persona, their self-conscious and distinctive aura – they perform extremely well in interviews, assessment centres, and other public settings.

“They are great fun to watch, but they are also quite impulsive and unpredictable; everything that makes them good at sales (and selling themselves) makes them poor managers – they are noisy, distractible, over-committed, and love to be the centre of attention. They are not necessarily extraverted, they are just good at calling attention to themselves. At their best, they are bright, colourful, entertaining, fun, flirtatious, and the life of the party. At their worst, they don’t listen, they don’t plan, they self-nominate and self-promote, and they ignore negative feedback”.  (p. 49)

Histrionics deal with stress and heavy workloads by becoming very busy; enjoying high-pressure situations when they can then be the star. Breathless with excitement, they confuse activity with productivity and evaluate themselves in terms of how many meetings they attend rather than how much they actually get done. A key feature of these people that others may not appreciate is how much they need and feed off approval, and how hard they are willing to work for it. And this explains why they persist in trying to be a star after their lustre has faded. To work with them, colleagues have to be prepared to put up with missed appointments, bad organisation, rapid change of direction, and indecisiveness. This will never change, although it can be planned for.

To be specific:

• Appearance: As noted, they are likely to dress provocatively or with attention-seeking features. This can include revealing clothing, suggestive or extensive tattoos, brightly coloured hair, and eccentric hairstyles, and they may wear multiple accessories.
• Behaviour: They have eccentric and disinhibited behaviours. They may have “splitting behaviors” depending on how an interview is proceeding. Splitting is a mental mechanism in which the self or others are viewed as all good or all bad, without integrating the positive and negative qualities of the self and others into cohesive images. Other behaviours can include dramatic storytelling, hypersexual gestures, and acting out to become the centre of attention.
• Speech: They are likely to speak loudly and dramatically. Their speech is generally impressionistic and lacking in detail. Deficits with speech initiation or vocabulary are not expected.
• Thought process: Usually their thought process is expected to be linear yet limited in range and logic. These individuals tend to be easily suggestible and easily persuaded by others around them.
• Impulse control: They often have poor impulse control, which results in the engagement of many of their pathological behaviours.
• Insight: They are ego-syntonic, where behaviours, values, and feelings are consistent with one’s ideal self-image. Thus so, individuals with HPD typically have poor insight into their condition and how their behaviours impact their social and occupational functioning.

4. In 2000, Theodore Millon suggested six subtypes of histrionic personality disor Any individual histrionic may exhibit one or more of the following:

5. Oldham and Morris (2000) noted seven charac-teristics of this type, which they call Dramatic.

A person who reveals a strong Dramatic tendency will demonstrate more of these behaviours more intensely than someone who has less of this style.

1. Feelings

Dramatic men and women live in an emotional world. They are sensation-orientated, emotionally demonstrative, and physically affectionate. They react emotionally to events and can shift quickly from mood to mood.

2. Colour

They experience life vividly and expansively. They have rich imaginations, they tell entertaining stories, and they are drawn to romance and melodrama.

3. Spontaneity

Dramatic individuals are lively and fun. Their joie de vivre leads them to act on impulse to take advantage of the moment.

4. Attention

Dramatic people like to be seen and noticed. They are often the centre of attention, and they rise to the occasion when all eyes are on them.

5. Applause

Compliments and praise are like food and water to persons with Dramatic style: they need them to go on.

6. Appearance

They pay a lot of attention to grooming, and they enjoy clothes, style and fashion.

7. Sexual attraction

In appearance and behaviour, Dramatic individuals enjoy their sexuality.  They are seductive, engaging, charming tempters and temptresses. (p.  126-127)

Oldham and Morris also offer six tips on dealing with them.

You are attracted to the Dramatic person’s spontaneity, passion, sensuality, and ability to have a good time. Allow the Dramatic person his or her emotional freedom, and enjoy the range of experiences that will result.

Appreciate, praise, flatter, and give feedback. The Dramatic person needs you to react openly and verbally, especially about your positive feelings, at all times. Don’t hold back; there’s no such thing as too much of a good thing with this personality style. But be sure to be honest.

Be romantic. Even if the Dramatic person in your life is a friend, relative, or parent, these sentimental attentions will delight and thrill him or her.

Be realistic about this person’s relative inability or reluctance to handle certain responsibilities, including money. Handle the finances or the financial planning yourself, if need be. Better, supervise or double check essential details.

Don’t hold grudges. Dramatic persons don’t hold things in, and the Dramatic person in your life may be emotionally tempestuous. Try to let go of your own anger or annoyance. Don’t take the Dramatic person’s emotional reactions personally and don’t be frightened by the drama.

Avoid jealousy. Dramatic individuals like to charm other people. Try feeling flattered and turned on by the warm attentions of others to your mate and have a good time at the party. (p. 139-140)

There are drama-queens in all sectors though they are likely to be found in the more human resource orientated world. They can do very well in PR, marketing and training particularly if they are talented. But they certainly remain hard work for their ever-suffering reports.

Three Important Caveats

Dimension not type

Psychiatrists have long given up on the typological approach in the sense of believing that you are, or are not histrionic. It is a matter of degree. You may be low, average, high or very high. Some situations may bring out the less desirable aspects of the disorder. Most of the descriptions are of those very high on the dimension.

Advantage not disadvantage

It is possible that in the right job and with other benefits (like being good-looking, bright, well supported by others) a small dose of histrionic behaviour may be very beneficial. Think of the performing arts, sales, and public speaking. If they have a colleague, PA or trusted advisor to calm them down, reassure and give timely feedback they may thrive.

Front not Back Stage

Goffman, the famous sociologist argued that social life is a “performance” carried out in three places: “front stage,” “backstage,” and “off stage.” All social interaction is influenced by the time and place in which it occurs as well as by the “audience” present to witness it. Thus some people might look a tad histrionic because the situation calls for it, but it is just a show. The histrionic however hates the backstage and likes to live their whole life on the front stage, preferably in the lead role.

Interestingly, of personality disorders like Borderline, OCD, and Narcissism, there appears to be much less academic or clinical interest in Hysterical Personality Disorder. Perhaps it is not such a problem for the client/patient after all, though it may be for their colleagues.

About the Author

Adrian Furnham is an Emeritus Professor in the Department of Leadership and Organisational Behaviour at BI: Norwegian Business School. Recognising that he has more than a touch of Histrionic Personality Disorder himself, he does as all psychologists must do: namely study themselves.

References

• De Haan E. and Kasozi A. (2014). The Leadership Shadow– How to Recognise and Avoid Derailment, Hubris and Overdrive. London: Kogan Page.

• Furnham, A. (2014). A Bright Side, Facet Analysis of Histrionic Personality Disorder. Journal of Social Psychology, 154, 527-536.

• Hogan, R., & Hogan, J. (2009). Hogan Development Survey Manual (3rd ed.). Tulsa: Hogan Assessment Systems.

• Millon, T. (2004). Personality Disorders in Modern Life. Hoboken, New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons, Inc

• Muller, R. (2014). Histrionic Managers Wreck Havoc in the Workplace: Identifying the Phenomenon. The Humanistic Psychologist, 42, 402-412

• Oldham, J. M., & Morris, L. B. (2000). New Personality Self Portrait. New York: Bantam Book.